I use my mind-reading powers to win the poker tournament. I then take the diamond to a safe that is bullet proof, fire-retardant, magic proof, and explosion proof. I then put the game on peaceful to protect against the ghasts. I then use my shape-shifting powers to turn into a doucebag, and cause a DD0S attack on MC.net so nobody can get the diamond.

I rewind again! This time, I rewind to just before 5bmark closes the chest and pause. Now I walk over to the chest. I take the diamond and head to my ship. I press play when I reach my ship. I blast off again, going far way, at hyperspeed, to a galaxy similar to this one. with another planet, with weird slime creatures, they can speak ENGLISH! Except that they call diamonds "The Messiah's Stone." So they start worshipping me, and guard me and the diamond for eternity, the guards are slimes that weigh 6 tons.

I disable your forcefield using my mind techniques and take my diamond to New York I go to the top of the statue of liberty and stand on the tip of the torch waiting for you guys. Well I'm there I break the stairs down so no one  can get up. It's just me, a diamond and liberty beeyotches!

Fail!!!! Diamonds can't shatter!! Anyways, I start to get hungry on the statur of liberty so I have a helicopter air drop me some sun chips and I lie in wait with my sun chips waiting for the next dude to steal my diamond!

I use my forceps to retreve the diamond and take it to New Vegas in the Mojave Wasteland! (fallout reference) from there I take it to the top of the Lucky 38 Casino where securitrons are guarding every entrance!!! P.S. THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE DIAMOND IS TO USE STUFF FROM THE GAME ONLY!!!

EMERGENCY REWIND! Rewind goes 3 posts back. I have it again, also, what the fudge is forceps?!

Benny the pirate rings up ZanDak... "Hey dude, you got my diamond?"
"Oh yeah," ZanDak says, "It's right here, like, in front of me. Why?"
"Well, you want to bring it over," Benny asks, "coz, like, I kinda need it right now."
ZanDak screws up his face, his ears start spouting smoke. His eyes turn red and he pants heavily, nostrils flaring.
"Dude?" Benny says warily.
ZanDak grows horns and fiery embers engulf him for a three mile radius. He grows pimples and starts to snort to the tune of "I Gotta Feeling".
"ZanDak?"
The man's veins on his forehead begin to bulge, then every vein on his body begins to bulge, his eyes shoot lasers and his tongue spits venom and he begins to think like he might just pass out.

"Sure! Just ask anytime! I'd be honoured!" Zandak says, smiling happily, and then driving over to Benny's house and giving him the diamond with a wink. After Zandak drove off, Benny disguised it as one of his teeth and then pressed his lips FIRMLY SHUT.

Firmly shut, people. Do I have to tell you?

you can take your diamond and SHOVE IT!!
-Toxiktoe Caprio

I nuke your ass an go in with all the worst evil people and we run in all guns blazing but then justin Bever comes in and bursts Epicman0 eardrum 

for some reason the diamond goes in a bystanders hand, he throws it in the air, and runs like hell.

I simpley use my super sneaky skills take the diamond get the money for it and use that money to bye a golden house, a 1972 ford mustang, a shotugn(for teh luls) and then suddenly women surround my house beautiful beautiful women. then I invite all you guys t a diamond party where everyone gets 2 diamonds that can power cities! I then bye all of you Islands and give you plenty of the necessary equipment to create cities for yourselves and women of your choice but none of mine!

your welcome ;D

My remote powers detect d4davo's post as a recording, I use my remote powers to delete it, so it NEVER happened!
REMINDER: You cannot make more than one diamond, it ruins the game.
I pause the world, then walk into Area 51, and I take the diamond (trophy?) and blast off to the slime planet again, hide it the exact same way, and use my  remote settings powers to require everything to be REASONABLE!
Nobody can make random crap happen anymore (such as waking up ON the diamond), oh, and nobody has my powers, get your own solution.

i formulate an elbrite plan to dig straight down untill i hit the minecart with the diamond but i fall in a lava sea doings so instead i hire 532 creepers to blow up until i find his minecart and i take the diamond and run back to the lava sea i fell in earlier where i built a hidden castle, hide the diamond inside replace the walls with tnt knowing that if i can't have the diamond no one can

I Eat a creeper raw and turn into a super regenerating mutant that is made of lead Goes and destroys all of the TNT and watches the fake diamond shatter then take the diamond 4 seconds before im flooded then i eat it and it lodges itself in my stomach and you cannot get it unless you eat me and if you eat me you will die because you cannot eat lead.

Edit: And i die because im flooded but i still manage to make my lips join together by editing my textures so you cannot reach into my mouth and take the diamond. I also seal up my backside.

i trade you the diamond for a cookie :D

I use an anti-bomb suit, bomb explodes but i dont get hit. dig the sand with my diamond shovel deflame the lava with water cut the seamonster open grab the lead safe out of his belly(yuck.) open it with myEven-adminium breakable omega-diamond-gold-iron Version X pickaxe cook the easter egg then i tick it once egg drops out i get the diamond.

I see that i already got alots of diamond, so i give it free to the one who posts first to my comment with the word "iwantthediamondasfirstbecauseilikeit" . Dont use the reply button :P

I shoot alex and then i take the diamond again dig down into the ocean 7000 miles down in the core of earth create a glass base i then put the diamond in a adminium safe with 2 other fake diamonds worth the same amout as the diamond and then i fill my base with tnt and if the tnt explodes the base breaks flooding it with lava and preesure that would etheir burn you to death or break you like a tincan being smashed and then i go to the surface of earth and put lava over the entrance made of gold and adminium  build a small wooden house ove r the entrance and then i turn that house into a castle i fill the castle with lava then i leave flying away on my pheonix

I use the Kishin's madness (Soul Eater is a pretty badass manga, yo.) to trick Minic111 into thinking he's fortifying the diamond's defenses, when really he's removing it from its hiding place. He then teleports to me, and attempts to kill me. He thinks he is attacking me with a large, flaming sword, but in reality he is handing the diamond over to me. I proceed to snap his neck and take solace in a faraway cave, protecting myself with the madness wavelength, anyone who enters my cave has horrific, maddening hallucinations that often make you think you're doing something you're blatantly not.

as you change the chanel, I apear in there, I hipnotize you to give me the Diamond, but still you resist... then i punch you as hard as I can and just take Diamond from youre warm hand, in your other hand is 'Remote of The Chanels'(!) I take that too and use it to give the diamont to Master Chief lying to him that in the chip, that just looks like a diamond is Cortana.

i hit the power button on the front of the tv turning the universe back
on. then i hack a surfboard and go channel surfing. i find alexgher
next to master chief, since he did not move before turning the universe off, hit him with my surfboard, and steal the diamond. i continue off in a random direction to hide on my surfboard in the open seas.

note: water, so master chief has drowned and the remote and any other electronics have water damage and are no longer operable.