steal the diamond
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nagashi
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In this game the objective is to get the diamond by any means necessary.

rules.
There is only one diamond
That rule cannot be changed
-
Ill begin
-
"Picks diamond up off the floor and puts it in pocket
My diamond."

7seba
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iydf

Punches nagashi in face, does a sweep, and knocks him out. When unconsious, IYDF takes the diamon from nagashi and outs it in a bomb-proof and bulletproof and crackproof safe, which he hides in his pocket , whilst he wears an invinible cloak.

garyfarmer
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go to the last pg

thats were i win

tOo
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Uses his heartrate monitor to

Uses his heartrate monitor to locate iydf. He next GOES FLIPPIN' NINJA and steals teh diamondz. He procedes to go LotR on it......My presous...

Jocas
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Nice

Throws a barrage of pinecones at tOo knocking him unconscious. Takes diamond and hides it in a tree.

Poor-Luke41
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Burns the Tree, Puts the

Burns the Tree, Puts the Diamond in a Magic Chest That Can never ever be Broken then Bring a Rule in that we must steal the Chest

Valrosse
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.

I straight up just take the diamond.

Poor-Luke41
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I cry until you Die, And Eat

I cry until you Die, And Eat the Diamond And It Comes out of a dark hole.....

Valrosse
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I can dodge.

I dodge your crying therefor you never get the diamond.

Poor-Luke41
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I divide by zero

I divide by zero

Valrosse
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I still have it.

No matter your calculations I still have the diamond.

Toxiktoe
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Fools

I troll on your face until you cant take it anymore, you hand me the diamond and i go trollolololing into a meadow....thati is fortified by cows to annoy u to death

tOo
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Yet HAHA

I use my teleke...errrrrrrSTUFFPOWER and make the diamond come to me!

5bmark
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>:D

You fools... You can not beat the powah of teh glass domez

*Mark uses glass dome powah to take diamond*

Jocas
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Haha

No, you be the fool. *takes a hammer to the dome*

(needless to say the diamond is now not yours)

Scottzar
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Guile FTW

Use my epic skillz to steal the diamond from Jocas and replace it with a fake. Eveyone will attack Jocas.

Toxiktoe
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Ah but scott u underestimate

Ah but scott u underestimate teh raw pawah of te cow they destroy your eardrums in 2 seconds, way too fast for you to kill them

Builderhero
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I snatch the diamond from

I snatch the diamond from Scottzar and put it in my trusty missle launcher, and I launch it away far away. Game Over.

Jocas
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The night before

The night before you launched the missle, I adjusted the angle and trajectory of the missle launcher and sent it back into my tree house. (the windows broken but what the heck)

Toxiktoe
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ha

I take the diamond and use your tree to craft a diamond shovel with which I beat you over the head with

theinsaneshadow
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well i'll just take the

well i'll just take the diamond and become invincible and invisible (diamond also becomes invisible) and take it to my invisible hideout where i'll dig an invisible tunnel and put it in an invisible/indestructible chest and i come back up to the surface so you think its in my pocket -_- btw its ninja proof

thatbennyguy
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Arrr, tis' not pirate proof,

Arrr, tis' not pirate proof, gar! Me use my in'incibility compass t' find you in'isible hideout and climb through the in'isible tunnel t' find your in'isible chest. Me can't destroy the indestructable chest, so I just open it, and then come back t' the surface so you think tis' in my pocket. When it is.

"Arrrr me hearty!" Me cry, as Me plonk the diamond under my mattress, and sleep on it. And as e'eryone knows... you can't get a sleepin' pirate off his booty :3

Mr. Under_Score
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I take your matress out from

I take your matress out from under you while yer sleeping and i snatch the diamond than run to my secret box stashed in a large forest of other boxes of the same size WHO HAZ TRICKERY NOW EHHHH????!

Jocas
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Ha

Uses a trained squirrel to locate the correct box and effortlessly locates the diamond. I tell the squirrel to take the diamond far far away. No idea where, just not here.

thatbennyguy
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Benny the pirate woke up with

Benny the pirate woke up with a fright. He had just had a horrible nightmare that someone had stolen-

He checked under his pillow. No diamond. No... Diamond!? He let out a violent howl. "I must find me diamond!" he cried.

He followed a man's steps to a forest with many boxes of the same size. Benny searched through the boxes day and night, through Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring... and in the following Summer, in the last box he checked, he found his beloved diamond! "Arrrr me hearty!" he said, building a 50x50x50 sphere out of TNT and stationing 50 guards at the entrance and an emergency ejector seat, placing the diamond in a platinum box strapped to the side of his warm belly, and implanting a chip inside the diamond to locate its whereabouts if'n he lost his baby again!

And he waited. Because he had no life. Because sadly, diamond WAS his life.

Mr. Under_Score
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The great explorer Mr.

The great explorer Mr. Under_Score gets a team of foreign explorers with ships to sail across the oceans day after day. On the ships are 362,582 fake diamonds, 800,000 lbs of gold and tons of spices and tabacco! Benny The Pirate couldn't resist! He and his guards changed into pirate clothes and than benny took the dynamite and made a dynamite cannon to launch at the ships while the armies were battling Mr. Under_Score, as  crafty and handsome as he is, snatched the diamond and flew to Tokyo on his flying Porcupine, Greg, and ran through the streets and side streets with the diamond. He finally stopped in a poor area and when into a shack he said the words: Looc Mi (Im cool backwards) and the floor fell 2 stories into a contained room. from there he got into a rocket that was stationed in the room and shot out into space startling the many asians on the street. while flying he steered towards mars and landed in a crater from there he buried the diamond and than stationed large aliens taht were like bipedal green elephants with sharp teeth to guard the diamond NO ONE SHALL EVAR FIND MI AWSUM JEM!!!

thatbennyguy
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Arrr, benny the Pirate went

Arrr, benny the Pirate went t' uni'ersity and got his degree. Then he became an astronaut and the first man t' enter a black hole and li'e. The black hole propelled him forward in time t' 3000 A.d., t' a galaxy far far away (earth got too hot :P) whar he li'ed for 20 years and learnt the language and became part o' ad'anced society. Due t' his thorough knowledge o' past times, he con'inced the colony t' send him in a time machine back t' present time, except on location Mars, at the exact co-ordinates o' whar the diamond lay. Upon stealin' the diamond, he was transported back t' 2400 A.d. and they placed the diamond in an ad'anced lock with nanotechnology that was like "wow", because the diamond was a precious artifact o' Earth that once was, and their prized possession. And they appointed Benny the Pirate t' be curator o' the Diamond Museum, which was on his own spaceship that he could direct as he pleased.

Benny was a happy pirate :) Aye.

Mr. Under_Score
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I blew up yer scurvy

I blew up yer scurvy spaceship and launched the diamond back to earth it hit it an somehow it was going so fast it went back in time to the Greek Ages i was than taken by the Minotaur to his labyrinth thus hiding the diamond in the maze of tunnels HAHAHAH!

yomojo
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N00B

Lol, I just keep my right hand against the wall and follow it until I find the diamond, then I follow the wall back out and store it in a chest in my meme-fortress, and issue weegee along with malleo and the others, king leonidas, peppy, doctor octagonapus, lolwut and all of the rest of the most dangerous and powerfull memes to guard it. But most of all, I set captain falcon as the co-captain of this elite guard and as captain I put... wait for it... CHUCK NORRIS!!! Ha! Try and get past that!!!

thatbennyguy
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Wall follower, I choose you!:

Wall follower, I choose you!: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maze_solving_algorithm#Wall_follower

XD

EDIT: Oh yeah, and thus I get the diamond and take it away and hide inside a box made of steel. Then I put that box into a box made of platinum and then I ship it off to Tanzania for a holiday :)

Then I dig a hole in the ground and put it in and then cover up the hole with dirt. And the rest of the ground is dirt as well :)

yomojo
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Meanie...

Quiet fool, my comment vetos yours

yomojo
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I SAID QUIET!!!

Everyone, ignore this guy's comment and treat mine as the proper one instead

bhefley1
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wow

you my friend are a winner

thatbennyguy
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OK...

LOL maybe you can just comment instead of replying :P

Pirate Benny sends his trusty spy to spy on yomojo. He sees yomojo eating his breakfast. Pirate Benny's trusty spy walks up to yomojo and asks him politely to give him the diamond. yomojo says, "No." Trusty spy walks away in a sulk.

Suddenly, trusty spy sees a trap door in the wooden flooring. Where could it possibly lead? He climbs into the trap door, and lands on his chest on the rubbly stone. "Ouch!" says the trusty spy. He gets up and dusts himself off. But what he saw next shocked him.

There was a glitter in the distance, far off in the dark. He tried to walk closer towards it. Inching closer. Closer. Closer. Suddenly, Chuck Norris leaps out of the shroud, emanating light. The trusty spy falls down at the sight of Norris' glory. The trusty spy is floored, and cannot move.

Chuck Norris brings out his BB gun, approaches the man and beckons for the trusty spy's last words, if any. The trusty spy smiles. Chuck Norris is confused. "Why are you smiling?" Chuck says. The trusty spy's suppressed gently turns into a chuckle, then soon escalates into diabolical laughter. "Why are you laughing?" Chuck says. "Nothing is funny? Why are you laughing?" The trusty spy's laughter escalated even more until Chuck's ears began to ring. And then, in a flash of light, the trusty spy revealed his true identity.

"I am your long lost brother, Chuck." said the trusty spy. With that, he issued a solid kick to Chuck's chest, sending him flying through several walls of the building. The structure was starting to crumble down. The trusty spy stood, his glory more resplendent than Chuck's, emanating UV light instead of visible. (:P)

"My name,"
the trusty spy said, triumphantly grasping the diamond. "is F*** Norris."

...

...

...

then he took the diamond back to benny the pirate and then benny put the diamond inside a ham and cheese sandwich and ate it. the diamond travelled through his digestive system and got embedded in his appendix. benny continued to go to university in late fall and finally got his degree in palaentology. the trusty spy went and lived a secluded life in the barrens of northen syria. and the ham and cheese sandwich...

was never seen again ...

:P

yomojo
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Wait...

Um... Weege? Captain Falcon? Doctor Octagonapus? What about those guys?

Mr. Under_Score
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They were killed by the

They were killed by the crumbling building!!! Me on the other hand, Mr. Under_Score, makes excellent attempts and college and gets a master's degree in medicine and intestinal tract surgery!! A few days later he gets an urgent call from a man with an accent saying he feels like "scurvy dogs are a rumblin cannons in me belly!" So Mr. Under_Score than waits for the man to come realizing it's BENNY THE PIRATE!!! Benny cannot realize taht is archnemisis Mr. Under_Score is right in front of him! The pain in his stomach is so intense and Mr. Under_Score is wearing a doctor's coat! Mr. Under_Score does surgery and spots a small disterbance in the appendix, he investigates further to find A SLIMMY GLEAMING DIAMOND!!! HE takes the diamond and than gets in his car and drives to the nearest mirror store... HE gathers 3,629 mirrors and constructs a large light reflector he attatches a machine and antennae in the middle and conducts all the light towards it using certain angles!!! the light comes togetehr hit the antanne and then mechanical sounds are heard as pure energy travels to the heart of  the machine a small metal rod with a tube is attached to the machine and in front of ir is the...diamond. There's a blinding flash as PURE LIGHT ENERGY OF 3,639 SUNS HITS THE DIAMOND!!! IT INSTANTLY EXPLODES CAUSING IT TO DISENTEGRATE!!! GAME OVERRRRR FOLX!!!!

thatbennyguy
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(@yomojo: I went thru a trap

(@yomojo: I went thru a trap door remember? Weegee and co. were having tea :P)

When the diamond exploded, 1000 pieces of diamond split to the 4 corners of the globe! (the world was made flat due to the explosion :P) But the 1001st piece of diamond (the most powerful, admittedly) soared over mountains and valleys, over seas and through the skies, over farmlands and scorched deserts, over arctic glaciers and, well- you get the idea. The diamond flew all that way and then- *KAPLONK!*

Benny woke up lying down in a room in the hospital with doctors looking down at him. Some had a look of puzzlement, some disgust, some amusement. It was hard to tell because they had face masks on (:P) "Where am I?" asked Benny the Pirate.
"You're in hospital," the nurses said. "You've suffered a strange kind of injury. You're fine though. Here, look."
A nurse handed him the mirror. Apprehension rose in Benny as he lifted the mirror up to his face. And there, lodged in the pupil of his eye, was the 1001st diamond shard. Brilliant as ever.
"We can't pull it out sorry," a nurse named Jackie said. "Your eye might bleed to death."
"Oh," Benny said, "I was wondering why I couldn't see through one eye."

Over the course of time, Benny made it his mission to collect all the last pieces of the diamond. He searched far and wide, through mountains and valleys, on the seas and in the skies, through farmlands and scorched deserts, over arctic glaciers and, well- you get the idea. It took him nearly 15 years to gather all the 1000 fragments of diamond from the 4 corners of the globe. When he had had them all together, he didn't know what to do. Until he got an idea.
"Aye, i''e got an idea Gar." Benny said.

So he went and plonked all the 1000 fragments of diamond into a vat of nuclear waste and then pulled the 1001th fragment out of his eye, and his eye bled to death. Since there was a big hole there, he decided to cover his eye with a patch of black cloth. Folks call it an eyepatch now. Pirates do this in remembrance of Benny, the father of their way of life.

When he pulled out the fully formed diamond from the vat of nuclear waste (with a pair of large tongs of course) he went to the jeweller.
"Ahoy, can Me get this made int' a rin'? Ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!" Benny said.
"Sure you can," 
said the jeweller, and he made a gold ring and mounted the large jewel on top of it. "That's 120 carrots thanks."
"Aye, oh no," Benny said,
"Aye, i'm sure tis' much less than that."
"No," said the jeweller, "120 carrots please."
"Aye, i'd say about 12 karats. Aye, me parrot concurs."
"120."
"12, Aye."
"120."
"Aye, me thought you war a jeweller Gar."
"I am, now give me my 120."
"120 what?"
"120 carrots."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
"What? You stupid or something?"
"Arrr, no, I just get it now. You meant carrot as in the root 'egetable usually orange in colour, which has a crisp texture when fresh. Wharas Me meant carat as in a measure o' purity o' gold alloys. Me see whar the misunderstandin' lies."
"Oh yes. Now where's my carrots?"
"Aye, oh har Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum?"

He paid and put the ring on. :)

Mr. Under_Score
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Mr. Under_Score than happy in

Mr. Under_Score than happy in his bunker deicided to leave and go back to the hospital to tell Benny that the diamond was gone! But instead he found no BEnny he asked the nearest doctor and he said he went off to some Nuclear Plant down the road. Mr. Under_Score ran down the street to the plant and all he found was a tipped over gallon of Nuclear Waste! "damn!" Underscore exclaimed. He saw footsteps in the waste leading to a jewelry shop down the street also. He ran to the shop and asked if there had been and Pirates there. The Jeweler said yes with a smile on his face.Underscoree was in sucha rush that he didn't notice what was around him. THE WHWOLE STORE HAD CARROTS EVERYWHERE!!! Underscore slowly walked out as the JEweler laughed maniacly.

*
*
*
Benny the pirate awoke in the night feeling extreme pain in his hand. He got in his car and rushed to the hospital where he found Underscore once again in a doctors coat so he didnt notice....Dr. Under_Score then did surgery on his hand noticing the diamond ring. he than took it to YELLOW STONE PARK!!! And ran through the forests and hid behind a bush.

webbing
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I was cutting down trees in

I was cutting down trees in the forest and found Mr. Under_Score hiding behind a bush, but saw the diamond and managed to steal it and run away before Mr.Under_Score noticed.
...
I then hid in a secret underground cave made out of adminium. I then make a bunch of iron picks out of the diamond (it is that powerful) and hire workers (that use the iron picks) to mine out iron that I smelt and sell online.

I also decided to hire some bodygurards to protect the diamond (which magically still exists even after I made picks out of it).

Mr. Under_Score
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Umm fail? but I kill your

Umm fail? but I kill your guards in my Kick-Ass suite and than I take the diamond to my Korean drug factory and hide it in one of the druggies pants!!!

master_swoosh
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Well

I presuade the druggie easily to give me the diamond.
I then take the diamond and throw it off of a cliff. Then a fish eats the diamond. The diamond somehow gets out through a hole. Then found by a dolphin and carried to its pack where they moved it to an alter. They thought "Well we are so cute why would anyone want to make us sad and take our diamond?" Which makes me sad and go on an expiditoin to find it. But when I see these dolphins worshipping it I can't bare to take it away. So I go find a cave and mine 100 diamonds to split among all posters here. Thank you.

Mr. Under_Score
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I put on a blindfold and slay

I put on a blindfold and slay the dolphins with an m16 than i take the diamond and hide it in a 3 mile in diameter haystack good luck

yomojo
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Too easy

I take a FLAMETHROWER!!! and burn all the hay, leaving only the diamond, which I take and then get some obsidian and make a portal to hell, throw the diamond into the portal, then after making sure there are plenty of ghasts nearby close the portal. Ghasts FTW!

Edit: and by flamethrower I mean a Ghast that I tamed as my pet

5bmark
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>:D

HAHAHAHAHHA

you feeble attempts are useless!!!. I put the game on peaceful, and take the diamond

blademstr9
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Peaceful wont stop me

Peaceful wont stop me from taking the diamond and hiding it in the crotch of my pants to where no one, not even the very impressed ladies shall grab. (it's that great)

chanrocket
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I just shoot blademster9 and

I just shoot blademster9 and hide the dimond in a black hole 88866o287593847593847593878498573497589 light years away

uroman11
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stole it

i went to the blackhole and then warped to my house, nuke everything that is around, and then turn into a creeper and u guys never find me.
THE END oh and  since everyone is dead and im in SMP i just use the duplication glitch and make more diamonds, so i don't care if you steal it now. WHO WINS NOW? MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

master_swoosh
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WAIT

Why isnt everyone happy? I gave everyone there own diamond. WHY ARE YOU STILL FIGHTING!?! IM MAD!!!!! OH AND I TRICK A SKELOTON TO SHOOT YOU!! Mwuhahahahahh!!!! So i get a diamond and a record! Also i take all your duplicates and give them to EVERYONE!!! INCLUDING YOU EVERYONE MAKE SHOVELS SO YOU CAN DIG YOUR GRAVES!!! BECAUSE I BLOW YOU UP AND SEND YOU TO THE HELL DIMENSION!!!!!! THERE YOU CAN DIG YOUR GRAVES!!!


THE END!!!!!

bnewton
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[NEWCOMER: BNEWTON]

I take a remote, and rewind this game to the beginning.
Then I walk over to nagashi and beat him to unconsciousness with a rose, and then I build a rocket out of hacked adminium, and blast off at 9001 kmph. I invent an anti-master_swoosh desvice, thus keeping him at least 5000 km away from the device, if he is 5000 km from the device, then he catches fire, is electrocuted, and dies.

yomojo
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Teh ghasts

I send a Ghast to retreive the diamond from the rocket ship, and OF COURSE it sucseeds, cause it's a ghast, then I wait for someone to steal it from me, because I know they will, and if I resist I might get hurt

xXemsownsXx
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i win

i kick your ghosts ass and put the diamond in a secret place and i win! hahahahahah

Metalicbeing
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I WIN MORZ

I use a diamond detector and steal it then stab you in the face

Mr. Under_Score
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I use a diamond detector to

I use a diamond detector to the find the siamond in the secret place and enter the world series of poker!!! From there the winner shall get the diamond!!! LET THE GAMEEEZ BEGIN!

0motnahp0
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I Win

I won the tournament, so the diamond is mine. The diamond game ends, I win...

seeing as I win, the diamond loses all personal value to me, and I sell it for millions of dollars and then retire before anyone tries to steal it from me, doing bodily harm to me in the process.

0motnahp0
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I Win

I won the tournament, so the diamond is mine. The diamond game ends, I win...

seeing as I win, the diamond loses all personal value to me, and I sell it for millions of dollars and then retire before anyone tries to steal it from me, doing bodily harm to me in the process.

blackzuki
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*DISTRACTION*

I distract you, snatch the diamond and heat it to over1455 degrees and breaking the carbon bonds, therefore, the diamond no longer exists.

chasekenyon
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oops didnt mean to post here

woops

5bmark
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phhh

I use my mind-reading powers to win the poker tournament. I then take the diamond to a safe that is bullet proof, fire-retardant, magic proof, and explosion proof. I then put the game on peaceful to protect against the ghasts. I then use my shape-shifting powers to turn into a doucebag, and cause a DD0S attack on MC.net so nobody can get the diamond.

Shiftication
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Outwit you using your ex and

Outwits you using your ex and stealing the diamond then hides

bnewton
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Rewind

I rewind again! This time, I rewind to just before 5bmark closes the chest and pause. Now I walk over to the chest. I take the diamond and head to my ship. I press play when I reach my ship. I blast off again, going far way, at hyperspeed, to a galaxy similar to this one. with another planet, with weird slime creatures, they can speak ENGLISH! Except that they call diamonds "The Messiah's Stone." So they start worshipping me, and guard me and the diamond for eternity, the guards are slimes that weigh 6 tons.

122ninjas
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I go to the very same planet

I go to the very same planet briging back a gold stone infused with bronze and they call it "Epic pwnzorz stone of stuff stuff" They then follow my commands by gaining 15 more tons and dropping all that flab on your stomach. I take the diamond and run off to some weird galaxy that has nothing in it but a planet that has rulers in place of people. The rulers worship me and call me the ruler of all rulers. They then give me everything I need to protect the diamond and then I make the nearest ruler sharpen its hea so any bystanders get stabbed

Mr. Under_Score
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I disable your forcefield

I disable your forcefield using my mind techniques and take my diamond to New York I go to the top of the statue of liberty and stand on the tip of the torch waiting for you guys. Well I'm there I break the stairs down so no one  can get up. It's just me, a diamond and liberty beeyotches!

trollface666
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I smash the f***ing diamond

I smash the f***ing diamond on the floor.

Everybody loses.

Mr. Under_Score
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Fail!!!! Diamonds can't

Fail!!!! Diamonds can't shatter!! Anyways, I start to get hungry on the statur of liberty so I have a helicopter air drop me some sun chips and I lie in wait with my sun chips waiting for the next dude to steal my diamond!

bnewton
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After I land...

After I land on Earth, I just walk over to the Statue of Liberty. Mr. Under_Score's body is engulfed by flames, with specks of electricity flicking him closer and closer to the metal ball I bring along. (Reason his body is in that condition is because of my Anti-Mr. Under_Score Device or the AMD for short.) As he is nearing the edge the flames are growing in intensity, due to being closer to the AMD. He drops the diamond, and I catch it, and blast off to the planet of slimes, the slimes that followed 122ninjas command are being punished by torture the slimes call B8H8, kind of like salt for snails, but it's applied until the slimes are almost dead, and after that, a substance unknown to Earth is called Xleap, and it causes the slimes the heal at a rapid rate, 1 minute and it's done. I place a sign next to the locked indestructible chest that says "Manage to break into this? Then you can have it AND the B1H90 surrounding it." B1H90 is a substance that kills anything and everything instantaneously, at a single TOUCH!

Mr. Under_Score
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I use my forceps to retreve

I use my forceps to retreve the diamond and take it to New Vegas in the Mojave Wasteland! (fallout reference) from there I take it to the top of the Lucky 38 Casino where securitrons are guarding every entrance!!! P.S. THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE DIAMOND IS TO USE STUFF FROM THE GAME ONLY!!!

StickyTack
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Pwned.

I give diamond to god .
End of story .
Gf diamond .

bnewton
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EMERGENCY REWIND!

EMERGENCY REWIND! Rewind goes 3 posts back. I have it again, also, what the fudge is forceps?!

ZanDak
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Ouch

I was asleep when i woke up on a diamond ouch sharp
My diamond

thatbennyguy
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Benny the Pirate

Benny the pirate rings up ZanDak... "Hey dude, you got my diamond?"
"Oh yeah," ZanDak says, "It's right here, like, in front of me. Why?"
"Well, you want to bring it over," Benny asks, "coz, like, I kinda need it right now."
ZanDak screws up his face, his ears start spouting smoke. His eyes turn red and he pants heavily, nostrils flaring.
"Dude?" Benny says warily.
ZanDak grows horns and fiery embers engulf him for a three mile radius. He grows pimples and starts to snort to the tune of "I Gotta Feeling".
"ZanDak?"
The man's veins on his forehead begin to bulge, then every vein on his body begins to bulge, his eyes shoot lasers and his tongue spits venom and he begins to think like he might just pass out.

"Sure! Just ask anytime! I'd be honoured!" Zandak says, smiling happily, and then driving over to Benny's house and giving him the diamond with a wink. After Zandak drove off, Benny disguised it as one of his teeth and then pressed his lips FIRMLY SHUT.

Firmly shut, people. Do I have to tell you?

Mr. Under_Score
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I use a turkey leg a pirates

I use a turkey leg a pirates only weakness to get Benny to open his craw I than snatch the diamond and take it to MT. RUSHMORE!!! I am hiding in LIncoln's Nose and if any government dudes see you they'll kick you out of the country FO REELZ!

Toxiktoe
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announcer 1: "Toxiktoe has

you can take your diamond and SHOVE IT!!
-Toxiktoe Caprio

epicman0
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Oh yeah

I work for Fbi and go and throw u off mt rushmore and then take diamond and kick u out of U.S.A

Then I eat the diamond and give myself aids (not trying to be mean its a joke) and hide in bomb shelter

BIGGAMONSTER
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I nuke your ass an go in with

I nuke your ass an go in with all the worst evil people and we run in all guns blazing but then justin Bever comes in and bursts Epicman0 eardrum 

then i disect you and thake the diamond for myself and run to mario and the monopoly guy for help,
monopoly guy sues your ass
and mario hits him into space and all of koopa kingdom and monopoly world help me!!!!

BIGGAMONSTER
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Then we fly anyone how comes

Then we fly anyone how comes to steal the diamond and we use halo's ships to fly you far far away where no computer geeks can find you and we leave justin bever there to kill you by singing Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Epic Face
YOU FAIL   

budperson
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I win.

I take teh diamondz, and craft it into a trophyz. Then i lookz at 1tz.

OneChosen2
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NU!

takes the trophy and puts it 4 miles into the dirt buries it and then places an elephant where the hole was

xemnasvii
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for some reason the diamond

for some reason the diamond goes in a bystanders hand, he throws it in the air, and runs like hell.

Jocas
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Hooray!

Sends an elite squad of mongooses armed with pencils to attack the World Series Poker event. The mongooses take plenty of the chips and cash them in Las Vegas. Along the way they drop off the diamond at Area 51 for secret usage.

d4davo
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Money

I simpley use my super sneaky skills take the diamond get the money for it and use that money to bye a golden house, a 1972 ford mustang, a shotugn(for teh luls) and then suddenly women surround my house beautiful beautiful women. then I invite all you guys t a diamond party where everyone gets 2 diamonds that can power cities! I then bye all of you Islands and give you plenty of the necessary equipment to create cities for yourselves and women of your choice but none of mine!

your welcome ;D

master_swoosh
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Well....I think that....

This game has made me tired i fall asleep and wake up thinking that i won. So i win to myself......NO ONE can do anything to my dreams period you guys continue fighting. Exclude me.

bnewton
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My remote powers...

My remote powers detect d4davo's post as a recording, I use my remote powers to delete it, so it NEVER happened!
REMINDER: You cannot make more than one diamond, it ruins the game.
I pause the world, then walk into Area 51, and I take the diamond (trophy?) and blast off to the slime planet again, hide it the exact same way, and use my  remote settings powers to require everything to be REASONABLE!
Nobody can make random crap happen anymore (such as waking up ON the diamond), oh, and nobody has my powers, get your own solution.

bigbluspellz
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remote powers hahaha

i freeze u in time  then once again in a large block of ice made from koolaid
the pink lemonade kind   then i grab the diamond and jump into my creeper powered mine cart and zoom down the railways to my hideaway  then i lock the door and fortify it with tnt and lava  i win

OneChosen2
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i shoot the tnt with an

i shoot the tnt with an explosive arrow blowing up the fort i walk around the lava due to the hole in the wall and take the diamond trophy smelt it back into a regular shaped diamond puts it in a minecart pushes the minecart leading deep into the ocean the underwater cave collapeses and the diamond is well hidden under the wreckage

OneChosen2
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But i also defrost bnewton to

But i also defrost bnewton to be fair

alexgher
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i use my elarite plan (misspell)

i formulate an elbrite plan to dig straight down untill i hit the minecart with the diamond but i fall in a lava sea doings so instead i hire 532 creepers to blow up until i find his minecart and i take the diamond and run back to the lava sea i fell in earlier where i built a hidden castle, hide the diamond inside replace the walls with tnt knowing that if i can't have the diamond no one can

OneChosen2
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Ohhh Shiney TnT

Shoots tnt with an explosive arrow again blowing up his castle walls once his walls explode i send in 20 teams of men to find the diamond they found fragments of the full diamond and alex's foot i go home and smelt the diamond back together again and then i dig a hole in the ground  800 miles deep in the mantle of earth place the diamond at the bottom fills hole with obsidian places a block of dirt at the surface of the hole and puts a fake plastic diamond on top of my shelter with tnt surronding it i run away and hide in cave 300 miles away from my base that is hidden under the ocean and if you get to it it will flood in 40 seconds

AGNRY FAIC
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Mutant

I Eat a creeper raw and turn into a super regenerating mutant that is made of lead Goes and destroys all of the TNT and watches the fake diamond shatter then take the diamond 4 seconds before im flooded then i eat it and it lodges itself in my stomach and you cannot get it unless you eat me and if you eat me you will die because you cannot eat lead.

Edit: And i die because im flooded but i still manage to make my lips join together by editing my textures so you cannot reach into my mouth and take the diamond. I also seal up my backside.

alexgher
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I hack angry's computer to

I hack angry's computer to turn him inside out so i craft a swimsuit swim down and grab the diamond i swim back up and i split the diamond in 2 and craft a sorwd (still works as 1 it's just thinner) then i start digging straight down for the rest of my life

DarknessStar2099
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i trade you the diamond for a

i trade you the diamond for a cookie :D

OneChosen2
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I Get A pheonix (misspelled )

I Get A pheonix (misspelled ) to burn darkness and then i take the diamond Put It in an easter egg hide the easter egg in a lead safe put the lead safe 2000 miles into marianas trench in the atlantic ocean after it hits the side of the trench a seamonster eats it and then i use my magical powers to take the seamonster to mars then i dig a 90 mile long trench into the surface i throw the seamonster in it and then i fill the trench with lava put sand on the surface of the trench and then i cover the sand with tnt

jasper
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RE: steal the diamond

I use an anti-bomb suit, bomb explodes but i dont get hit. dig the sand with my diamond shovel deflame the lava with water cut the seamonster open grab the lead safe out of his belly(yuck.) open it with myEven-adminium breakable omega-diamond-gold-iron Version X pickaxe cook the easter egg then i tick it once egg drops out i get the diamond.

I see that i already got alots of diamond, so i give it free to the one who posts first to my comment with the word "iwantthediamondasfirstbecauseilikeit" . Dont use the reply button :P

alexgher
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i walk up to him and say

i walk up to him and say iwantthediamondasfirstbecauseilikeit even though the cheated

OneChosen2
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I shoot alex and then i take

I shoot alex and then i take the diamond again dig down into the ocean 7000 miles down in the core of earth create a glass base i then put the diamond in a adminium safe with 2 other fake diamonds worth the same amout as the diamond and then i fill my base with tnt and if the tnt explodes the base breaks flooding it with lava and preesure that would etheir burn you to death or break you like a tincan being smashed and then i go to the surface of earth and put lava over the entrance made of gold and adminium  build a small wooden house ove r the entrance and then i turn that house into a castle i fill the castle with lava then i leave flying away on my pheonix

minic111
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im joining in

i use a teleportation device to telport the diamond right to my hand then i build a casle in the sky with a securaty sistem witch the stairs get filled with sand as any one comes up and the diamond is hiden with hundreds of others fake diamonds with a lava security scistem

Danopus
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Kishin

I use the Kishin's madness (Soul Eater is a pretty badass manga, yo.) to trick Minic111 into thinking he's fortifying the diamond's defenses, when really he's removing it from its hiding place. He then teleports to me, and attempts to kill me. He thinks he is attacking me with a large, flaming sword, but in reality he is handing the diamond over to me. I proceed to snap his neck and take solace in a faraway cave, protecting myself with the madness wavelength, anyone who enters my cave has horrific, maddening hallucinations that often make you think you're doing something you're blatantly not.

Top that. Also all this invincibility stuff is stupid, you have to give an actual reason, and not just an invincibility potion or whatever. The madness wavelength makes this into a rule; NO INVINCIBILITY.

bnewton
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We're not in Kansas anymore...

It's high time I took action.
I fast-forward time, wait until somebody runs past me unwittingly, pause, and take the diamond, then, I change the channel (this is effectively going to an alternate dimension.)
I pause this new "channel" and delete the old channel from the list of channels I allow, which causes everybody to get pushed into other channels.
None of us are on earth anymore.
We're not in Kansas anymore...

EDIT: You HAVE to post how you got into the channel I am on, you don't just MAGICALLY get the diamond on your own channel, also, everybody is isolated from one another until they enter mine.

Rimksss
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as you change the chanel, I

as you change the chanel, I apear in there, I hipnotize you to give me the Diamond, but still you resist... then i punch you as hard as I can and just take Diamond from youre warm hand, in your other hand is 'Remote of The Chanels'(!) I take that too and use it to give the diamont to Master Chief lying to him that in the chip, that just looks like a diamond is Cortana.

alexgher
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i get stuck on a futureshop

i get stuck on a futureshop commercial so i run in and grab a universal remote so i can enter the other channel i pause master chief (tm) and steal the diamond then i hit the off button making everything in the universe disappear... I WIN!

monkeywraith
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surf

i hit the power button on the front of the tv turning the universe back
on. then i hack a surfboard and go channel surfing. i find alexgher
next to master chief, since he did not move before turning the universe off, hit him with my surfboard, and steal the diamond. i continue off in a random direction to hide on my surfboard in the open seas.

note: water, so master chief has drowned and the remote and any other electronics have water damage and are no longer operable.

Burning_Acid
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LOL

Two camels in a tiny car!

you argument is invalid, i win

alexgher
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i swim to the top of the

i swim to the top of the world and place lava turning all the water into cobblestone then i make a prtal to the nether build a second one and teleport infront of monkey i hit him with a backpack full of obsidian and steal the diamond and i build a box out of obsidian and since their is only 1 diamond you can not get in i win yay 2 wins in a row

monkeywraith
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star trek crossover

i contact my starship in orbit which beams the diamond and i up. we
then hide the diamond in a probe in a subspace pocket in the nekrit
expanse making it impossible to find.

alexgher
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it takes me 323 years but i

it takes me 323 years but i finally punch a hole in the obsidian in the shape of the portal i take my flint and steel and make a portal i then catch monkey's probe take the diamond out and feed it to a ghast which can't be killed (pretty much impossible) and i run to my house and cover every square foot with i don't have the diamond

donut222
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I use

I use my awesome ninjaskillz and sneak in and take the diamond. I then stuff the diamond up my butthole.

alexgher
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i say donut's point is

i say donut's point is invalid thus it is uncreative does not explain is not funny and is just plain stupid

donut222
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I say alex's point is

I say Alex's point is invalid thus it is uncreative and is off topic. He is also just plain stupid.

Slay_Ganj
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LOL

This is hilarious

OneChosen2
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I shoot donut with a magic

I shoot donut with a magic bullet turning him into jello i get another diffrent person to take the diamond  give it to me and then kill donut by eating him after that i go to a solar system far far away while the others argue about where the diamond is i throw it out into space where it gets traped in a stars orbit then it gets hit by 10 metors and then 100 more thus turning it into a planet where you have to dig to the core of the planet to get the real diamond covered by lava which is now generating fake diamonds everywhere on the planet and once you get to the core the core generates earthquakes that would cave-in any holes on the planet thus sufficating you or burning you in the lava once you get the core i then fly away back to earth and hide in my under ground base

jasper
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RE: Steal the diamond

I  make the diamond go teleport to me using almost-impossible cheats. Long ago, I spent ages on it to create the cheats, and now they work. I have the diamond right now.

But.
You ALL are in my game.
There is NO way out.
You CANT use a time machine.
In fact, you can use NOTHING at all.
You are all trapped.
Forever.
In my game.
*Evil laugh*..
But... What happens?...
I will use a magnet on my computer, so wipe you all from the universe.
You can do nothing...
Nothing...
Its hopeless.
Hopeless....
When I use the magnet, evereything gets wiped from the screen.
The CPU crashed.
And now..
Now you are falling in an infinity depth.
It is impossible to get out....
Nothing helps... NO portals, NO time machines, NOTHING.
NOTHING...
Its just YOU...
And the INFINITE DEPTH...
Falling in nowhere....
You may have flashbacks of Submachine 3: The Loop...
This is NOT a dream.... Its all REAL....
Hopeless..
Falling....
Pointless falling.....
Into an impossible depth...
While nothing works...
You cant move, you are just falling...
Its hopeless....
Hopeless....
The diamond is mine...
Hopeless.

xXxWarLordxXx
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i left a note on my desk

i left a note on my desk before i got trapped in that game saying"petter plz go back in time and make a virus that can stop this game and let me out" so he makes a virus and uploads it in to the computers hard drive and i am suddenly free then i track the guy who has the diamond and i trick him into giving me the diamond for a super hot chick and he accept the offer and gave me the diamond then i take the diamond to a ring maker and he makes the diamond in to a diamond ring then i walked to a docter and asked his to stich this ring to my finger.when the docter is done i walk happely home. :)

OneChosen2
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I Dident Get Traped

Sooo... I Use A Universal Remote To Reverse What Jasper Did I Get A Nerd To Then Get  Jasper Into Infinite Hole Hes Now Just Falling Pointlessly For The Rest Of His Life After That I Murder Warlord In His House Then I Steal The Ring Smelt It Back To  A Diamond I Then Throw The Diamond In A Black Hole With My Alien Buddies On The Other Side (They Craft Diamonds Into Toilets They Have No Use For Them) They Craft The Diamond Into A Large Toilet And Then They Give It Back To Me And The I Smelt The Toilet Back Into A Diamond Shaped Diamond (Now Its Huge So You Can't Just Take It) And Then I Get A Dragon To Pick It Up And Then Carry It For All Its Life In The Sky Eating Birds

AGNRY FAIC
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Your point is invalid because

Your point is invalid because You Talk Like This.

alexgher
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i shoot 543 arrows at the

i shoot 543 arrows at the diamond making it turn back to regular size then i kill the dragon with his own ears i take the diamond build a portal to the nether and then i dig a hole at the bottom of a lava sea i swim back up put water on every single level then i dig a tunnel under the diamond fill it with obsidian and surround myself with obsidian i then build a portal back to the real world that teleports me and the diamond into blue void where i fall forever with the diamond

epicman0
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.....

I use the same portal and go to u and pimpsmack u in da face and then take the diamond and warp back. the I craft the diamond into shovel and dig a hole to china, then the shovel wares out and is destroyed the end.

roguepacman
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lolwut?

i rewind time steal the diamond
-pause the game
-log off
-delete my account
-uninstall minecraft
-shut down my computer
-cancel my interwebz
-smash my computer
-wipe my memory
-grow a beard, yes a big, bushy, many, beard
-shave tha beard into stubble
-move to somewhere i dont live as i dont remember where i live
-change my name even though i cant remember it
you lose.
then i fart i the diamond that is paused deleted logged off shut down smashed uninstalled canceled and forgotten so noone will touch it EVAR
i then do my evil laugh i cant remember and drink some beer.

alexgher
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i look over at rogue while he

i look over at rogue while he destroys all his stuff as i slowly take the diamond out of his pocket i then build a box out of bed rock (and the bottom there is no way in a portal to the nether can't spawn in here becasuse it is too small) (i win)

theking951
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I come in with a noble team,

 I come in with a noble team and i proceed to kill everyone. we take diamond back to planet reach and noble team gets killed by aliens while i escape. the diamond was left on the dying planet.
have fun killing aliens

alexgher
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that one sucked but ok i

that one sucked but ok i summon a ghast army through a nether portal to kill all the aliens i then grab the diamond and build a lava sea house of cactus build a trap cheast which sets off tnt if oppened killing you and desintergrating the diamond i then swim back to the surface

PLEASE note that don't reply with somethign stupid plz you have to explin what you do you can't just say (dramaztion) im 1337 so me getz the dmonds accualy come up with something clever or i will say and qoute i say 1337 and everyone in the world dies but me and the diamond magicly dissapears THE END and continue to say the end forever

bigbluspellz
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ok i now

ok i now decide that this will be fun i take my friend (crazy neighbor ) to ur chest and trick him into  opening it  (buy him a case of beer).  Once the cest explodes killing him and launching the diamond upwards i catch it and run into a dark cave dropping a torch along the way so i have light.  i then build a fort out of 3 layers  1 of  obsidian then 1 of tnt  and again another of
  obsidian  i sit back with my diamond and revel in the fact that i will now win for noone will be able to get my diamond

zlaty
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I called Chuck Norris, he

I called Chuck Norris, he found the diamond and crushed it with his beard.  The diamond has ceased to exist...

GreeneyedLyon
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I

Then Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white,

And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight,

And Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,

And Cowboy Curtis, and Jambie the genie,

Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader,

Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger,

Bill S. Preston, and Theodore Logan,

Spock, The Rock, Doc Oct, and Hulk Hogan

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass

It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw

With civilians looking on in total awe

The fight raged on for a century

Many lives were claimed but eventually

The champion stood the rest saw the better

Mr. Rogers in a blood-stained sweater
Giving the Diamond Dust
The Greeneyedlyon
And i use Godzilla to crush the precises back together
and i hide the diamond in The Fortress of Solitude with superman
and the justice league to watch over Me and the Glorious Diamond while i gaze in to its shining glory. :D

GreeneyedLyon
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o and thats a Lemon demon 

o and thats a Lemon demon  The ultimate showdown tribune lol

AnthonyGowd
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I stole it Whuahaha

Ok i guess it´s my turn.

Then I came with my UBERDUBERFLASHULTIMATERDISPOSALGRABAWAYMACHINE!!!

And Stole the Diamond

Superman Flew away from the Diamond because it was so boring to protect. And the Justice League never excited so yeah........

I got myself a UBERDUBERFLASHULTIMATEDISPOSALKILLINGMACHINE
To protect myself from somebody killing me or trying to rob the Diamond.
And I lived happy and long together with the Diamond.

Shiftication
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Fail

Attempted to win the world series of poker but i lost to a royal flush.
Fails to get the diamond

roguepacman
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hmm?

realises hes missing something important and remembers he put that diamond somewhere but cant find it so he uses his awesomeskillz to kill all the ghasts and stuff and digs the bedrock away with his trusty reinforced adminium pickaxe and takes the diamond and puts it in a chest that CANNOT i repeat CANNOT be opened deleted destroyed opened moves gone near or punched in any way shape form or size he then proceeds to fart on the chest for extra protection also bounds it with  MAGICAL donkey reinforced diamond-adminium chains and then spits and farts on it again.

roguepacman
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oh?

i guess i win then?

Winter_Rose
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WRONG

I build a Nether portal into the tiny chest, take the diamond, and then proceed to go into The Nether and persuade a zombie to eat it and throw it up into a pit of hellfire.

tOo
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lol ncie try

lol haxor'd fire, now 50,000 feet on the roof of nether ^^

oasoldier1
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Dealer

I make the diamond teleport in my hand then I eat the diamond.

OneChosen2
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Rawr, I Kill oasold with my

Rawr, I Kill oasold with my bare hands and rip his chest open i then Take the diamond and put it in my  base in the core of earth (the lava shall melt you) i stuff the base with tnt go into a portal (one of a kind only in my base and you cannot make one) leading to a planet in a diffrent galaxy far far away i put the diamond in the core of that planet and then i go back to earth and fly over the lands on a dragon

Thoaee
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I lure the dragon down with a

I lure the dragon down with a 'ready-to-eat-cow' meal, knock OneChosen2 unconcious with my super ninja moves and use my /undo commands to fold the fabrics of time and space itself to make the diamond appear back into (the still unconcious) OneChosen2's hands.

I take the diamond, cut it up into exactly 1000 pieces and scatter them across the world.

OneChosen2
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I Get Up And Slice tho's head

I Get Up And Slice tho's head off killing him i summon the diamond and all 1000 pieces appear in my hands i then smelt them back into an easter egg shaped diamond then i put it exactly where i had it last time and i hide 20 trillion miles away from all of you guys

Scoopade
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.

I followed OneChosen2 without him knowing, waited for him to leave and simply took the diamond.

Now, the diamond is in a pit full of one thousand identical-looking, tasting, hearing (lol), feeling, but fraudulent, diamonds.

FlyingSquirrel
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I swoop in and take all 1001

I swoop in and take all 1001 possible diamonds, then hide them in various trees.

I may not know which is the actual diamond, but whichever one it actually is, I still have it.

Also, I promptly forget where I hid any of them.

roguepacman
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follows the stench of the farted on correct diamond and takes it

i have the diamond
i create an unbreakable rule by bending the the forces of reality to my will
you read the rule
"YOU CANT HAVE THE DIAMOND,
IT IS MINE AND NO OTHERS
YOU CANT HAVE IT.
EVER"

Box_of_cake
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Noclip

I, using noclip, grab the diamond from outside the reality where your rules no longer apply, turn myself into herobrine, and fly away at 2000mph annhiliating all in my path! Muahahahaha!

elafanoo
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can i haz dimund?

Me being god, MASH YOU WITH CLOUDS SMOTHER THE DIAMOND IN YOUR BLOOD AND GUTS, EAT THE DIAMOND ALONG WITH YOUR BLOOD AND GUTS, And then hire Chuck Norris to protect the Diamond ^.^

benenor90
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I WIN!

it's simple really i use the threesome: Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, and Jesus to get the diamond using Jesus' x-ray vision. then i tell Jesus to guard it wile Chuck(unstoppable Force) and Steven(immovable Object) fight. When they do they destroy the universe and create an absolute singularity creating a new big bang. but since Jesus gaurded the diamond it's safe and they then proceed to hide it in a negative singularity making it impossible for anyone except Jesus to get it back!!!!! HAAAAA GAME OVER!!!!! I WIN!!!!!

benenor90
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oh yahh

oh and i forgot to mention that a talaban-a-saurus-rex is guarding it with the threesome!!!

5bmark
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hmmm

I call upon Invisible Person, AKA Gawd, and he uses his power to take the diamond. He then runs off doing what Invisible people do. 

danieldaniel
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TEH NOMPLOXERZ

I use muy NOMPLOXERZ and shred the diamond into shreds.....

*pshaw*
frowny face
:) (im happy that your sad)

ibeatyou9
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HAAAX

shows chest full of diamond, and leaves this topic taking them with him

kuilin
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I...

I catch up to ibeatyou9, steal the real diamond, and then uses a map editor to change all blocks except those I'm in to lava. Needless to say, I die, and the diamond gets incinerated. The end. 

kuilin
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Ohhh

Forgot one thing. 

*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
*dies*
*respawns*
umm, yah

meme7
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i come along and get a

i come along and get a creeper to blow up the diamond!!!!

hidanftw
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WINNER

From there i win the dimond run of the nasa fly into a black hole with the dimond sending it to another dimension full of killer robot's that hate dimonds and they vaporize the diamond(and me) but my ashes are buried under rubel were a ghast comes and helps my soul take over a new body and kill the robts with a flamethrower and then i eat the diamond ashes and  then.......a paradox of chuck norris goes to are dimension and meet's are chuck norris and they fught and there round house kicks collid createing a super diamond which if touched by anything will vaporize it instanly(it flys cause it would vaporize earth if it fell)

hidanftw
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sh*t

ignore the one avoe me didnt read the last comments

hidanftw
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ok now

Yells u cant blow up a diamond then i run and take the diamond to a difrient univers were diamonds arnt worth anything and the world is coverd in diamonds that all look the same but are fake and nothing can tell them apert from the real diamond and i throw it into a pit of them and nobody ever finds it and i clsoe the way to the other universe AND chuck norris amkes clones of himself we found from nother dimension and make a chuck norris army to guard the entrences FOEVER THE END I WIN

Toxiktoe
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ya kant

well i just make an army of Chuck clones the same number as yours and they fight in an epic duel. In the end it is only hidanftw and I. We clash but I come out victorious with the diamond because my skin is awesome

danieldaniel
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stuff

I take muy OVER 9000 POWERZ and crush you all with muy AVATAR THE AIRBENDAR POWERX!

rayman121
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i nuke u and take the diamond

i nuke u and take the diamond

hidanftw
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??

But how did u find the dimond from the other diemnsion

epicman0
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>:D

I..... drink..... your...... milkshake! I drink it up!

and take teh diamond mehehehehehehe then shoop da whoop fires his laza and destroys the diamond, but first I make a force field that prevents time traval anywhere and u cant teleport, and make a bedrock box around it.

And then resume to drink your milkshake

firefudge
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magicaly turns bedrock to tnt

magicaly turns bedrock to tnt and blows up

then rides my dragon to catch the diamond forced upward to the sky
goes to wordroab(bad spelling :P) and travels to narnia and stuffs diamond inside gold apple
plants apple
tree grows
THERE ARE NOW BILLIONS OF APPLES BUT WHICH ONE HAS IT? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

hidanftw
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fma ftw

i ask jashin to find it and i take the diamond from the right apple and use my alchamy to turn the diamond into PENNIES and i eat the pennies and open the gate with alchamy and sh*t the pennies out in there and close the gate so anyone who wants them has to get into the gate with humantransmutaion survive going threw hte gate and get past me and the truth and the humoncules(all of them) o and u have to get past ALL OF YOUR MOMS HAHAHAHAHA i win u will never get the diamond with out loseing ur body or part of it i win u lose cause i kept a penny to then end LOL

hidanftw
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yes i kept a penny with sh*t

yes i kept a penny with sh*t on it BEAT THAT

roguepacman
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i bend the forces of reality

i bend the forces of reality its self to remake the diamond and put it in my pocket

my pocket is a black hole of immense power that cannot be entered
 THE DIAMOND CANNOT BE RETRIEVED IN ANY WAY

hidanftw
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........

....................................................................press rewind button on universal remote until i turned the diamond into pennies then i walk up to my self(with time paused) take the diamond throw it into MY gate witch i give to the truth and has disapperd forever and nothing can get the diamond but me when i want to open my gate hhaa i win it's impossible for u to ever get it back and i destroyed every single universal remote in exsistance except mine and any way to make one so i un pause mine and destroy it so now only i can get the diamond or ppl who know about fma the end i win. PS: I ATE A GHAST AND I BECAME A GHAST YYAAZZZZZ

AGNRY FAIC
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AY BOI ARGH DAIMOWNDEZ

AY BOI ARGH DAIMOWNDEZ

oasoldier1
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Mose Code

I interrogate you to open the gate and get it. Then I hide the diamond in a secret place that can only be found if you say its name.

This is it in morse code
_ _ .     .... _ _ _ .._ ... .

jordanfezz
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CAL OF DUTY ON YOU GUYS!

I go Call of Duty style on you guys, I grab the diamond, take out my FAL, shoot out three of you, get an RC-XD, get 2 kills with that, then call in my care package, gives me a gunship, the get 20 kills it, then I go Modern Warfare 2 on you and call in a tactical nuke, and if anyone survives, I use cold blooded, and ninja pro. So HAHAH!!!

oasoldier1
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No you dont have it because

No you dont have it because you didnt find the place nice try.

philboy11
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I Learn

I learn Morse code, use a (insertplayernamehere) detector find you then say its name. Takes diamond runs away gives it to Obama.

P.S. I don't know why I gave it to him just had that idea.

Sirorgan
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Disguise

Pretend to be Obama's dog and steal the diamond get on a plane back to Australia dig a secret hole, drop it in and cover it up.

jestillion500
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SURVD.

Throws Chuck Norris on yo' azz, and uses Bill Clinton to sniff out the diamond in Australia, Then proceeds to beat himself silly until there is nothing but Chuck Norris guarding it..

VGCats_Rocks
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Someone should do this

Nukes everything everywhere in every corner of the universe and takes the real diamond and makes a fake one =3

AGNRY FAIC
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The nuke blasts the real

The nuke blasts the real diamond that you think is the fake diamond into my face and it becomes stuck in my face so i have no idea it is there because a get amnesia then i get all of teh ICE CREAM TRUCKS BUT TEH ICE CREAM IZ NOT THERE so the next person to give me ice cream can pull the diamond out of my head if they dont give me ice cream and pull out the diamond anyway the pressurised air in my head flows out and hits you with the force of a train hitting you at 9999999999 km per second.

Equilibrist
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Little does everyone know

Little does everyone know that I've had the diamond comfortably hidden whilst I distributed a fake diamond amongst you, then watched you all fight over it while I sit in an undisclosed room viewing the pointless carnage from cameras I've hidden throughout the world.

DANCE MY PUPPETS, DANCE!!!!!!

Valrosse
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I take it.

I get the diamond.

Polish13
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I pay Chuck Norris to steal

I pay Chuck Norris to steal the diamond and tyo protect me from from everything and everyone

Equilibrist
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Yup

I steal Chuck Norris, who is currently holding the diamond.

12yz12ab
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...

I snatch the diamond from the safe that it is in, then I run home, put it in a safe, barricade the windows, double lock the doors and triple lock the safe.

hidanftw
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AMERTURASU

i go naruto on ur ass use the sharingan to torcher u for 72 hours fire style fire ball jutsu to open the safe and get the diamond and use my slip space jutsu to teleport to the naruto world and call everyone there to guard it and use my amerturasu to BURN the earth to nothingness and then i coy every jutsu from every ninja and use my susano to suck up the diamond into the iternal voide that has NO ESCAPE BY AND WAY POSSIBLE then i have sasuke and all the evil ppl and pein to help guard it and pein use his almight push and planetary devistation move on anyone who is not from the ninja world besides my cause i am akatsukie so um ya AND naruto release the 9 tailed fox and it listens to use to guard it so ya were invinsable by any means nessisary cause pain can revive the dead HHAA WE LIVE FOREVER AND WILL FIGHT FORVEVER well u cant hahaha we win

VGCats_Rocks
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I should REALLY do this.

Nukes everything. The End.-

AGNRY FAIC
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WANTZ ICE CREEM DIAMOND IN

WANTZ ICE CREEM DIAMOND IN HED IZ HURTINGZ

Equilibrist
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IT IS NEVER "THE END"

I emerge from Vault 101 carrying the diamond

hidanftw
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how did u get the diamond

how did u get the diamond from all the ppl cause remember they are invinsable so ya i still have it

VGCats_Rocks
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Mwuahahahahahahahaha

I destroy the diamond with another diamond because they said it's possible. :D

wrmwolf
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Sneaky Sneak

I go mission impassible on the diamond and steal it leaving a replica in its place. The world series poker ends and winner is awarded the false diamond. While all of this is going on, I hop onto my banshee and fly away onto my cloaked spaceship which travels at the speed of light away from the planet. This spaceship is indestructible and has a lifetime supply of regenerating food. It does not conduct heat resulting for it to be very cold inside. I use a furnace to keep me warm and keep the diamond in an indestructible box. Once I get past the sun, I throw the box into the sun. And ride back to earth.

1wolffan
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You never know...

I casually walk by the diamond in an ethereal form (passes through ANYTHING I choose), but I notice something very strange about the diamond. It's all dirty and smudged. I freeze all
time around me, and jump myself and the diamond into a dimension out of phase with this one.
Nobody but me knows how to pull off this shift, and nobody else ever will.

Now that I'm in my dimensional pocket, I can take my sweet time
polishing the stone. I spend what appears to be decades cleaning,
refining, and shining the jewel. Once I finish my work I realize that
there's another problem.

If I return the diamond to it's rightful place in the universes, it'll just get dirty again. I quickly decide to prevent this, and spend the next two centuries perfecting a dimensional-flux molecular armor for the diamond. I spend roughly 7 years making sure to apply the fix to every single molecule of the jewel. Now the diamond will never be dulled again, ever.

Now that I've cleaned up the diamond, I jump everything back to it's original dimension. I set the diamond precisely where it once was, a mere 5 seconds later in time than it was before.

I look upon it as if with a parents fondness, and crack a bit of a  smile. A strange voice is heard, but not by ear. "Farewell diamond, I wish you all the best on your future adventures. Don't worry, a watchful eye will always be upon you." Then...

I just fade away.


(( The only thing different about the diamond is that it now shines brighter than before, and can NOT be soiled or broken; ever again. ))

hidanftw
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WTF

HOW DID U GET THE DIAMOND FROM ALL OF MY GUARDS O W8 U DIDNT CAUSE THEY INVINSABLE(and i forgot to say this before but the diamond is still on fire by a eternal flame that whatever it touchs burn till it is ash and the diamond is invinsable to so nobody can touch it but me cause i can put out the fire) HAHA

hidanftw
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o ya

 and remember i burned destroyed the earth and anyother place related to it were u guys could live except the ninja world

jhonnyx1
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Jhonnyx1 shoots 25 people,

Jhonnyx1 shoots 25 people, and with the aid of ghost, calls in a tactical nuke. he then finds the diamond in all of the rubble and places it in the castle of hyrule and peace is restored to the land.

VGCats_Rocks
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Must... Do... This...

Only to find out the diamond dosent fit in the place and hyrule is destroyed along with the diamond

bbqroast
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NOO

I'm walking along prospecting for a good place to build when the diamond falls on my head. Thinking its worthless i throw it away down a deep shaft.

VGCats_Rocks
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MUST HAVE DIAMOND

Takes diamond from deep shaft and puts it in chest and enables Chest Lock
=)

NVQs2
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Uses 1337 level lockpicking

Uses 1337 level lockpicking skills and claims Diamond as my own, then feeds it to giant hedgehog, who is in turn fed to giant mutant hedgehog, who is fed to giant radioactive mutant pac-man.

wacca-wacca-wacca...

Mua-hah-hah-haaaaaa... nothing beats pac-man*

*under cetain conditions (at least 99% apply at this point, and 100% next post).


P.S. I am insulted by certain people's milkshake drinking skills.

VGCats_Rocks
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PAC-MAN DIES TODAAAAAY!

Uses rawket lawnchair to kill pac-man then kill the giant mutant hedgehog then kill the hedgehog and takes the diamond and throws it into a pool of water filled with leeches that are 2m long.

NVQs2
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...you obviously didn't heed

...you obviously didn't heed my 'nearly nothing kills pac-man' warning, did you?


P.S. in case you didn't guess, your rocket hit a rather large wall, it looks like part of a maze.

wacca-wacca-wacca...

shredderman
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diamond

i run undascore over w/pickup truck and snatch diamond

NVQs2
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pac-man eats you for bonus

Pac-man eats you for bonus.


This is easy, hasn't anyone ever played pac-man?

sithrebel
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takes the dimond -grinds the

takes the dimond -grinds the dimond into dust and spreads it into sea

NVQs2
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Would be a nice thing to do,

Would be a nice thing to do, but how would you get it?

(Basically, be more specific)

VGCats_Rocks
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sh*t

Uses Portal Gun and throws pacman in hell.

I won.

budperson
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Dog Crap

I take all the water in the sea and drain it, and is left with diamond dust. I feed it to my dog, and he craps it out. Game over.

DTDsphere
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I'm god

I'm god so I take the diamond. I also banish all of you.

VGCats_Rocks
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Nope

I'm chuck norris and I kill you and crush the diamond into 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 pieces and scatter all the pieces all around the universe.
-
I Won.

NVQs2
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I sent Mr T in to fight Chuck

I sent Mr T in to fight Chuck Norris in 'World War End'

While Clone Norris round-house kicks his way into the past to get the diamond while having a little time to stop J F Kennedy being assassinated by punching the bullet back at the assassin. Unfortunately Kennedy's head explodes from the sheer awesomeness.

cranachan
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Diamond Hunt

I break your neck and steal the diamond from the table. Jump out of a 4th story windoes and somehow survive and then put it in a bomb/nuke/tactical nuke/helicopter crash/explosion/radiation/chuck norris/rape/pedobear/ninja/llama proof safe.

Beat that!

Cpl4p-T
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I'm a firing ma lazer !!!!

(0)0)

/¯/-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

\_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I get diamond and give to long cat.

lucky7-7
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my creepers and skeletons

my creepers and skeletons destroy long cat and i take the diamond to my secret hideout and put the diamond in an bedrock chest with a key i destroy in the lava the chest is under a lavafall surrounded by many other lavafalls and use my bodyguards (all mobs in minecraft) and make a tnt body trap all over the place then i go to the toilet made of bedrock with an bedrock door without window that only i can open

Good Luck fellas

shuffle81
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What'cha gonna do now?

I called my mom's ex, Nuck Chorris, to come over with his friend Bustin Jieber and they beat and annoy the heck out of you until you give me the diamond which I then cut in half (TWO DIAMONDS!) to pay Bustin Jieber and Nuck Chorris with. I have no idea where they went after that.

shuffle81
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Score!

I won the tournament with my mad poker skills and recieved the diamond. I ran home to my mommy and told her to give it to her ex, Chuck Norris, where it would be safe forever.

shuffle81
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woops...

woops i clicked the wrong button...

NVQs2
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You don't know his power, do you.

I simply send in Mr T again.
Followed by Jeebus, son of Gosh, written about in the Hole-y Babble.

1wolffan
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Um, Guys?

It's already been established on many occasions but...

THE DIAMOND CAN"T BE BROKEN ANY MORE!!!

Now go change your posts accordingly.

PS: No one's working off of how shiny it became either.

*Grumble, Grumble*

NVQs2
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You obviously haven't read

You obviously haven't read every post, heres a hint, every time it has broken, someone has said something along the lines of "went back in time and got it".

hidanftw
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RAGE MODE

Well then i use my RAGE POWAS to find them and DESTROY THEM WITH ....THERE MOMS because nobody is more harsh then your mother then i take the diamond and fuse it back to gether  with my lazer eyes and i go to a nother universe were there are over 9000 DIAMONDS that look all the same but are worth nothing then i go intangabl(or however u spell it) and fly threw to a random location and just let go of the diamond and since they are all the exact same then NOTHING can find the real one AND BTW I DESTROYED EARTH ALL READY SO WERE ARE U GETING THESE THINGS FROM....AND i also called ALL OF YOUR MOMS AND NOW U SHALL  BE PUNISHED FOREVER for useing weapons like that but not me cause i can teleport.

hidanftw
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sry

lol sry my sentecs are so long

hidanftw
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o almost forgot

o i almost forgot to tell u that i know which one is the real diamond because i put my teleing kunia init before i left so i can tele to it and u cant make me only i can allow people to tele with me.

NVQs2
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I send out a strong 'Pure

I send out a strong 'Pure Carbon Erasure Ray' across all of time and space, any diamond that was/is/will be in the universe, doesn't exist anymore.

Watcha-gonna-do?

Nittany Tiger
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Physics Saves The Day!

I take advantage of quantum mechanics, parallel universes, and M theory.  I measure the said diamond that you destroyed in another universe, which creates it in the new universe.  Then I just pick it up and put it in my pocket.

Then I proceed out of our multiverse's membrane and crash the neighboring membrane together, which undoes the mess your ray did and re-creates the original universe.  Don't ask how I can play with and in 11-dimensional space.  I just can.

Finally, I re-enter our reformed space-time, sit down on my couch, and play some games.

Note: New universe is a duplicate of our old universe, so all is right in space-time.

StinkyFinger
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Pysics again!

I take advantage of the multi verse and in this universe you have a hole in your pocket and the diamond drops then I pick it up and over the year I developed a nuclear war head destroying the universe by creating a black hole imploding at the speed of light  ending the diamond problem because there is noting left

important; I put it inside the war head

Nittany Tiger
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But wait...

Well, now since I'm in this singularity, I walk over in some weird 1-d fashion and pick the diamond up (at least I'm sure it's a diamond).  I also repair that hole in my pocket.

Wait a few trillion years for the black hole to evaporate, and then walk away from that nasty mess.

Note: Apparently, it didn't matter if the diamond was in the nuke because we all ended up in the same singularity.

StinkyFinger
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the inplosion affected the

the inplosion affected the other universes and they  messed up so I was travelling through time and ended up back at the start of time when the diamond was first there and thus Im living hapily in the past out of harms way

Note: this multi verse doesnt exist

hidanftw
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HAHAHAHAH BUT then i go to

HAHAHAHAH BUT then i go to another universe were EVERYTHING IS FAKE DIAMOND EVEN PEOPLE AND DUST then whatever enters the universe becomes a worthless diamond so i throw it in there and NOTHING CAN FIX IT NOTHING BECAUSE I COMPLETELY ANNIOLAT THE DIMENSION FROM ALL EXSISTANCE IN THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE O THERE IS NO WAY EVER POSSIBLE TO GET THERE BUT MY TELE KUNIA THAT I PLACED IN A SHORT PERIOD OF 10 MINUTES WELL I WEAR A PROTECTIVE SHIELD SO I DONT TURN TO DIAMOND THE WAY TO GET TO THE DIAMENSION ONLY EXSIST FOR 5 MINUTES AND ONLY I CAN TELE THERE SO I WIN BECAUSE THE KUNIA IS STILL IN THE DIAMOND AND I MADE THE DIAMOND ONBREAKABLE SO IF U GET IT I CAN TELE AND TAKE IT BACK.

VGCats_Rocks
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BOOM

*universe explodes with the real diamond*

StinkyFinger
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how did you get it?

how did you get it?

hidanftw
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THATS WHAT

THATS WHAT IV BEEN ASKING EVERYONE HOW THE f*** DO ALL MY PLANS FAIL MY ABBILITYS OF IMAGINATION*rainbow appers above head*ARE EPIC HOW THE f***ED DO THEY BEAT ME WITH A f***ING NUKE WHN MY PARTNERS NEVER DIE

Nittany Tiger
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Magic? /me takes the diamond

Magic?

/me takes the diamond in the confusion.

knightofe1
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Guahahaha

i sneak in to the secret place find the diamond and give it to my to my pet shark lala who by the way has skin that is invulnerable

NVQs2
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Pure Carbon Erasure Ray v2


I send out an oblitaratively strong 'Pure Carbon Erasure Ray (2.0)' across all of time, space and parallel universes, any diamond that was/is/will be any universe, doesn't exist anymore (there is a way to get one thugh, not that I will tell you how).

Watcha-gonna-do-naaaaoooowww?

 P.S: @ Nittany Tiger: The universe was never destroyed with the original P-C-E-R, only all the pure carbon in it was. PURE carbon.

StinkyFinger
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NUKE

it doesn't matter if you your shark is invincible or you are invincible a nuclear war head breaks up matter so...

but if you say that you go to an alternate universe than I made a robot that travels at the speed of light altering all the universes so everything is the same and the universe is gone there can be no more ways to get the diamond and dont forget a nuke BREAKS UP MATTER!!!

NVQs2
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I already got rid of all

I already got rid of all diamonds. In ALL universes

Nittany Tiger
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You know if you destroy all

You know if you destroy all of the carbon in existence, that kills you because you're largely carbon?

Anyway, I take you, and make a new diamond by burying you in the ground near a volcano and waiting a few million years.

NVQs2
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I said pure, humans are not

I said pure, humans are not pure carbon.

P.S. I just dig my way out (but you were right in guessing I was a larger percent carbon than any other person, but that does not make me the most carbon-filled organism).

ace_case
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muahahahahahaha

I decide to play tag with some friends and use nether portals to help me win. While i was bouncing through the world i came across the diamond i took it and went to my top secret testlab under the lava in the nether so far that the ground is bedrock. I then take the lelvel files and put them on a creative server. After i do that i use the World of Minecraft client to go under the bedrock floor. in doing so; i set off a chain reacitions that launches a swarm of mobs both friendly and not. (I knew pushing the button that said MOB SWARM would do somthing nice lol)

deadbunnies
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smart, time twisted traveler

(I went back in time :3) Ah, but before you made it to the "world series of poker", I had shot the diamond with an un-ordinary gun capable of time manipulation and ugly side-effects (such as unreal mutation to whatever the target touches). I had sent it forward half of the time it took for it get to where we are now!!!!!!!!........... of course i don't have it, but i WILL have it when the proper time comes!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.............[half of the time it took for it get to where we are now later....]HA IT IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!! of course in the meantime i have constructed a device that could time freeze anyone on the spot along with whatever they have and encase them in a substance that no mythical powers can penatrate, no physical damage can be done, and no kind of ghost-like object or ghost-like being can pass through, and activated it upon myself before the ugly side effects took place. Now I CLAIM MYSELF THE RIGHTFUL WINNER!

vader557
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Headshots deadbunnies with a

Headshots deadbunnies with a sniper takes diamond, eats it.
"Nobody can take it from me! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

Mudehh
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HappyTim
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I use my

I use my awesome ninja skills, steal the diamond, THEN travel back in time to the begining of forever. Once there I bury the diamond in the center of the Earth in my secret invisible/indestructable room full of invisible/indistructable, each containg a fake diamond, the real one being hidden among them. P.S The room is ninja,pirate,Chuck Norris,god, and vampire proof

NVQs2
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The Prophecy

There was nothing in the begining, so I find the diamond floating in the middle of nowhere after riding on the back of Chuck Norris as he roundhouse kicks his way through time to forfill The Prophecy.

"In the begining there was nothing, then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. And so the universe was born..."

HappyTim
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Haha

Before nothing, I had already had the diamond and destroyed into 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000 little pieces each hidden throughout the universe, PLUS they are Chuck Norris proof.

Ryuzaki9322
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HAHA

I take over chuck norris,make him commit suicide,then he becomes his reincarnated self "nuck chorris" which is 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000 +1x stronger than the average chuck norris. I command nuck chorris to find the pieces and to put them together. After that he gives the diamond to me. Then, I command him to kill himself, and I use his skin to make myself an armor so my armor class is infinite. Also I swallow the diamond and you have to kill me to get it BUT... you can't because of my armor. Beat that!!!

HappyTim
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Once you fell asleep

Once you fell asleep , I filled you're bedroom with poisonious gases, thus killing you, and I cut you open then steal the diamond from your stomach. Then I put the diamond in my invisible indestructible safe that is nano scopic then I put THAT in my invisible pocket full of identical safes, all nanoscopic ( by the way it's Chuck Norris, Nuck Corrus, Norris Chuck, Corrus Nuck, Kcuhc Sirron, and Sirron Kcuhc proof). Once it's in my pocket I travel to another universe and destroying all technolagy so no one can no longer enter that universe. Once in that universe I travel a billion light years to a random planet called Chuckury. That planet is guarded by an infinate amount of Chuck Norris's along with every single Power Ranger. On the planet I tunnel to the center of it, build an invisible/indistructible base and cloak ( my heart rate can't be tracked). After this I cloak the ENTIRE planet along with all the Chucks. Mwahahaha

Ryuzaki9322
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but...

you can't cut open my stomach i wear the armor at full times AND i used nuck chorris's second evolution Mcchorris Nuck then i use HIS skin to make myself an indestructable armor. even if you kill me you can't retrieve the diamond from meine stomach. His armor is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x + 1 times stronger than nuck chorris

Micmckenzie
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I take it.

I start dancing like this.

Then, I simply take it from the planet, using stupid logics and poorly executed dance moves. I then give it to God, asking Him to end the game and make me ruler of everything that WAS, IS, and IS TO COME.

shredderman
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diamod

that means you gave it to me! MWAHAHAH!!!!

Mayko
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I the watcher...

 Perpose an alternate thread, an universe where the diamon was never given to god and 'Mic' never became ruler of all.

 In this universe Mayko had fought hard and long to retreive the diamond... In this months issue of
 
 WHAT IF... Mayko claims the diamond and ultimate power.

xanbear
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haha newbs i pwned you :P

ok lets settle this I WIN!!!!!1

HappyTim
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Well....

When xanbear went back to his home to celebrate his victoory...... I just took it from him :P.

Micmckenzie
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Booyah.

Booyah.

chasekenyon
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Pwnt

I walk over to xanbear while happytim is still there and freeze you with my ice gun. I grab the diamond and leave, you are all so sad because this newcomer just jacked your precious diamond that you all burst into tears. i collect these tears in my victory mug and triumphantly drink. 

I go back to my house and wait for one of you to try and steal my diamond, but beware. The lava moat and automatic turrets and lazors on my house are very real and deadly, not to mention is it impossible to enter the house unless you have a reason to have the diamond, not just that you want it.
Ps im in the house already and dont need a reason to enter.

NVQs2
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The Portal Gun

I portal in, take it, portal out and give it to some orphans.
They give it back later all covered in chewing gum.

I then feed it to giant Pac-Man again.

wacca-wacca-wacca...
...again...


P.S. *yawns* this is too easy...
WHEN WILL SOMEONE KILL THE PAC-MAN FINALLY!?!

chasekenyon
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Still in my house bub

You actually never entered the house cuz you didn't have a reason to take mah diamond. teleporting is still entering, just not through the front door. therefore i still have the diamond and it is not covered in gum

NVQs2
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One word, orphans.I did have

One word, orphans.


I did have it after all.

badboy360
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Beat chasekenyon till he die

i beat up chasekenyon till he dies and i take the dimond and paint it red so every one thinks its an emerald hahahahahahaha

cranachan
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Lawl

I beat up badboy360 till he is lying on the floor with his legs being eaten by a zombie.

It then steal the diamond mainly because he painted it red and called it an emerald and everyone knows emeralds are green and rubies are red.
I run of with the diamond and give it to chuck norris and tell him to keep it forever and never give it to anyone.
THERE JOB DONE!

RubenTelmo
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I use a Nuke to

I Get a rocket laucher lauch a missile to the place where the world series of pokar are and i get the diamond and put it underwater and put it in the sun and i burn with the diamond and the diamond gets destroyed . Game over what bout now 

djbolted
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i find the diemond and

i find the diemond and destorte it hahaha game over u lose

djbolted
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i find the diemond and

i find the diemond and destorte it hahaha game over u lose

djbolted
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sorry the doble post was due

sorry the doble post was due to lag

djbolted
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sorry the doble post was due

sorry the doble post was due to lag

chasekenyon
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i dont understand?

how did it leave my house? i wasnt beaten up cuz he didnt enter my house cuz he couldnt? read my first post.

NVQs2
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Go back in time, get it from

Go back in time, get it from the past. Same way people always do.
You need an 'incase they go into the past' clause.

Feed it back to the giant Pac-Man YET AGAIN!

wacca-... you know the rest.


Oh come on...
...KILL THE PAC-MAN ALREADY!!!!!!

bugme143
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O.O

there be some scary things in this thread.

I'll just be content with my gold.

Nittany Tiger
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Yum!

Enters the Pac-Man and bursts out again with the diamond.  Also kills the ghosts in the maze.

NVQs2
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Cobra Commander tactical

Cobra Commander tactical knifes you from behind. I feed the diamond to a slightly different giant Pac-Man. (same one, just with an inescapable internal lining)

<insert stuff I always say here, as I can't be bothered>

Tardis35
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I win! :3

I win the match and then destroy the diamond and vaporise the diamond atoms!!!!!!!! Anything anyone uses including a time rewinder is ineffective so NOTHING will get the diamond back!!!! Over all: I WIN!!! :D

Tardis35
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OH NO KITTEH!!!

Kitteh ate the pure exsistance of the diamond and killed itself so the diamond is gone 4 good!!!! Remember: Time warping is useless and thata was the only diamond we could use so try and get our of THIS one!!! :3

Tardis35
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as 4 pac-man... >:D

As for Pac-Man he got shot and beeten until his entire existance was impossible and dead! That includes any mutant pacmans or any replacements!! And any ghost in exsistance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! >:D

NVQs2
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...No he's not.You should

...No he's not.

You should have read the Pac-Man explanatory post, as everyone knows giant mutant Pac-Mans are bullet-proof.

NVQs2
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You didn't say anything about travelling through dimensions.

I travel into a parallel dimension and get a diamond (of the same specific measurements) from there, I then modify the atoms so they are like that of diamonds from this dimension.

After that I use it as a replacement diamond and give it to whoever posts next.


P.S. No mutant Pac-Man this post. (Shocked? You shouldn't be, I'll use him to get the diamond off you next time.)

Shadowrock
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Epic WACHA!

I sent a team of turtles, ghasts, zombies, spiders with skeletons on them, and pigman zombies. Chuck Norris punches you and the diamond is meh hands. My army eats you corspe and I rocket into jupiter with the diamond

djbolted
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i find a more valable resocre

i find a more valable resocre called the space diemound and to get it u must enter the giant hot dog eating contest

HappyTim
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You'll never win

Lucky for me, my floating armie of Chuck Norriss is taking a break on Jupitor and then we notice you have the diamond and roundhouse kick you till you die. After which we take the dimond then one Chuck Norris eats it then another Chuck eats him, another eats him, and so on and so forth till there's only one Chuck. And I give him my Invis o' Cloak which makes him invisible and then I hide him in my invisible/indestructable base.

djbolted
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nvq theres only one diemond

nvq theres only one diemond but mine is a space diemond the most valable resocre in the univise and the other dinmisons

HappyTim
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Who cares

Fine you get a "space diamond" but I still have the real diamond this thread is about.

Hergs
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punched

I punch you in the face and take the diamond.

Lunick
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I am the best at poker so I

I tickle you till it falls out
I then put the diamond in ...... my pocket :X

badboy360
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Wat ??

i find myself lying on the floor with my legs bit of by zombies and then crawl to lunick and trick him by putting a knickle on the floor and then steal the diamond from his pocket and crawl away .

Tardis35
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Dimesnsion revamp!!!! BEWARE!!! >:3

SO u got the diamond out the pocket? Well I shoot u vaporise u and the diamond again! Eat the atoms and set a dimension, time, space and NOTHINGNESS LOCK!!!!!!!!! AND PUT A UNBREAKABLE TIME SPACE DIMESION NOTHINGNESS LOCK ON MUTANT PAC-MAN!!!!! And anything u say or do will only increase the effects of the diamond and mutant pac-man lock!!!! Even if u get the diamond it uses a noetherleatherdimensionally teleport back 2 it's lock!!!!!!

badboy360
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it wasnt

it wasnt actullay me that you vaporised and it was a fake diamond and then i just walk away with the real one and laugh hahahahaha and i casted a spell on the diamond so its always with me and nether can get out off my pocket and the spell can nether be broken and i go to my secret planet in another universe where every thing is is upside down and i have gravity boots that make me not fall down into space and die and i have a ak47 that shoots lightsabers and it has an outomatik locking sistem that nether breaks and the planet that i am on is infested with zombies that dont kill me only every body else but me.

P.S i also have a trex that i ride on and the zombies dont kill it ether.

Tardis35
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Zombies? BRING! IT! ON!!!!!

WELL KITTEH THE 2ND ATE THE ZOMBIES ATE THE T-REX AND ANY OTHER PETS U HAVE AND TOOK THE REAL DIAMOND AND... VAPORISED THE DIAMOPND!!! I eat the atoms and set a dimension, time, space and NOTHINGNESS LOCK!!!!!!!!! And anything u say or do will only increase the effects of the diamond lock!!!!! Even if u get the diamond it uses a noetherleatherdimensionally teleport back 2 it's lock!!!!!!

badboy360
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But i killed you

But i killed you with my lightsaber shooting ak47 and so i still have the diamond

Tardis35
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No u don't!!

No u don't cause that was a clone therefore ur argument is invaild!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! :3

badboy360
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well it wasnt a clone so i have the diamond hahahahahah

it wasnt a clone so i have ze diamond hahiahiahi

Tardis35
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HAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!!!!

Yeah but I set a dimension, time, space and NOTHINGNESS LOCK around my clone as it was there so no matter what anyone says it only makes it more and more so that it was a clone and every thing in the last post of mine happened!!!!!!!

NVQs2
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My million dollar house

I come out of my cardboard box house realising CloneVQs2 is dead.

I then portal into your device and mess with your teleporter (reprogram it) so it teleports the FAKE diamond atoms out of you and into my hands (after being reconstructed into the FAKE diamond it once was). I then take the FAKE diamond and give it to orphans as the teleporter self-destructs,  also destroying the locking device the teleporter was inside.

Who would be mean enough to give a FAKE diamond to innocent orphans? (I would, because I'm bored)


P.S. I said I would use  Fred (yes, I gave the giant mutant Pac-Man a name now) this post, but I lied. Becuse I tend to do that...

...A lot...


P.P.S. Incase you still haven't guessed Tardis35 (Try reading posts properly next time), you had a FAKE diamond, not a clone diamond. I was just bored enough to steal it from you, and let badboy360 keep the real diamond until someone else posts.
Oh, yeah, badboy360, I blew up nether (well, more like warped it, rabbits live there now... and it's pink), so none of your protection works. ANYONE CAN STEAL THE DIAMOND NOW!!! *Fails at evil cackle* "Mwah-ha-ha-cough-cough... I think I swallowed my tounge".

Boredom can do that to people.

Tardis35
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But u can't... :3

U can't as the lock had another lock behind it that u can't find no matter what u use therefore ur argument is invalid!!! :3

NVQs2
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So what, you still only have

So what, you still only have a FAKE diamond. Probably made of glass, crystal, plastic or something.

AJHunter
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absorbs the diamond into his

absorbs the diamond into his molecular structure, thereby becoming epic.

badboy360
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shoots ajhunter

Shoots ajhunter in the head with a shotgun and because he absorbed the diamond puts ajhunters dead parshally teabagged corpse in pocket and trololol's all the way to the my secret base in an other universe were every thing is upside down and on my planet there is zombies that only attack every one but me and ajhunter parshally teabagged corpse . Then i put ajhunters parshally teabagged corpse in an absorbdifier machine and all that is left is ajhunter juice and the diamond .So then i put the diamond into my time bomb if the time bomb is etempted to be disactavetid it blows up time and if the diamond is taken out of the time bomb the time bomb blows up time again.

NVQs2
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You didn't count on anyone detonating the time bomb on purpose.

I detonate the time bomb from my secret base called "The Far-Away-But-Not-So-Far-That-I-Cannot-See-What's-Happening Base" and see what actually happens to the time bomb (and the Diamond).

I am comfortably inside the base, or am I?...

How did I detonate it? You will never know! (I love you redstone circuitry, and you TNT chain. You thought I was going to tell you how in these brackets, didn't you? Well now there are TWO options! Or so you think...)

Fairywren
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Steals Diamond

While you watch the time bomb explode I with my epic ninja skills to sneak in steal the diamond and murder you with it.Then sneak off to the planet farthest away from earth and hide the diamond at the very centre of it in an unbreakable,magic proof,time travel proof box then call every living thing (eg aliens,Chuck Norris,...)except anyone that wants to steal in and station them all around and over and inside the planet making an invincible barrier around the planet and the diamond! HA try and get it now!!!!!!!

djbolted
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u didnt say i couldnt teleport fariy

i tele port there with my army of half dragon half chuck norris and steal the diemound and then go to the other side of the univiuse and hide it in a sun in my base in the sun wtich is unbrakble , tele proof , time travel proof ,magic proof box hahahahahahaha i win

Rixo
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Gold

I have found teh only gold in this game... Let the gold hunt begin :P

NVQs2
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You can keep your gold like

You can keep your gold like the other person has, the diamond is more important.

NVQs2
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Noo!!! Not another clone

Noo!!! Not another clone killed, these things are expensive!

With this knowlege, I portal in (No, using a portal gun doesn't count as teleporting, they use different time/space mechanics to work) and steal the diamond. I then portal out and give the diamond to Fairywren because I'm bored again.

Darkfire4599
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Chuck Norris And Morgan Freeman

Combine forces to help me get the diamond. I then ask Chuck Norris to round house kick the diamond into dust. The diamond dust then explodes because i told morgan freeman to use his laser beams to destroy it. The end. I win.

kuilin
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You say it explodes to dust eh?

Well, I take all the dust, puts them all in a bag, goes to my solid 100-block-thick-adminium-walls place, super-ops myself, disables /tp and /tpzone, sets the spawn 2 blocks above lava, and spends 1000 years putting the diamond back together. 

Then, I travel in a time machine back 1000 years to the present, and I feed the diamond to a GIANT PAC-LADY O.o

djbolted
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i travel back in time before

i travel back in time before this forum started and  take the diamond and then kill anyone on this forum before they know there is a diamond and then take all there tools and weapons hahahahaha i win

djbolted
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i travel back in time before

i travel back in time before this forum started and  take the diamond and then kill anyone on this forum before they know there is a diamond and then take all there tools and weapons hahahahaha i win

beastman206
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I travel with u

I travel back in time with u and take the diamond when u get it, then take the diamond and murder every minecraft player alive with a weapon that cannot be stopped  as well as killling new minecraft players. ^.^   

djbolted
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i know u would do that

i know u would do that so i killed u when u were born there fore u did not kill me or get the diemond

Fairywren
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diamond

2000 years back ,when NvQs2 gave me the diamond I switched it with a fake one and hide the real one in an Ikea,so all that other stuff you people did was with a fake diamond.Mwahaha,you'll never find it in that Ikea! :D

Toxiktoe
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I own Ikea and order mah

I own Ikea and order mah slaves to find the diamond, they do and i throw the diamond on to a chunk that i was sure noboby was on and it de spawned, the end...or mabey not..................................... 

NVQs2
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It is on him, not in his inventory. Your logic isn't the best.

As Chuck has now de-spawned, there is nothing for the diamond to be on, so it falls to the floor.

I pick it up, and still being bored, throw it into the air to fall onto the head (It won't hurt that much) of the next person to post.

djbolted
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umm i killed all u when u

umm i killed all u when u were born did u even bother to reed my post so i win game over i win

megasonicking
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HEHEHE

hits you with a nuke and kill you and take it and go into bombproofsafe and lock it and hide